Tuesday, 18 October 2011

Shermouse Holmes reporting on findings

Today this newspaper received a phone call  from Shermouse Holmes, still searching in the West Dorset area for the body of a mouse stolen in July.   "I have found no sign of a body at all", said Sherlock.  "I have found nomouse who can tell me anything at all (or will not tell me anything at all).  This is a worry, because whilst I have heard of mice disappearing, I have never, in my entire career, heard of the disappearance of a body already deceased.  I shall continue to search during the remainder of October, but will return to my office on 30 October, as All Hallows Eve is not a night for wee beasties to be out and about, well, not that I am frightened, but I do need to get my caravan in storage, and my nest insulated for the winter.  I hear it will be a cold one".

Following that phone call, hearing rumours of a small family of mice within the garden of Pine Tree Cottage, your intrepid reporter went out into the field himself.  What he found will make interesting reading.
 Pictured left are Wally and Willy Woodmouse, the twins whose winter home is The Shed. It was difficult to get them to speak, but eventually, in chorus, they spoke.  "That big cat Fred, he did kill the mousie!  and then a Big One put it on a sheet of paper in the porch!  and then a big gust of wind blew it into the garden! And then a big big bird come and pick it up and fly away! And we was so frightened, we only goes out in a pair now!  No single huntin', no single sunbathin' or anything!  And last week another big bird did come and take down a wood pidgeon right in front of us!  Mr Sp'hawke, we heard whispers of his name.  By all that is holy, Gerbil and Harvestmouse, they is the things to fear, the enemy raptors!" 

At that, they scampered off in the direction of The Shed.  I will put this statement to Shermouse Holmes when he returns - perhaps he need never had gone if he had interviewed the Woodmouse twins first of all.

Tongin Cheeeeeek - Reporting for The Daily Fieldwhiskers
Copyright SusanMaclean