Monday, 30 March 2015

Easily offended readers - LOOK AWAY NOW!

....... because there is a rather personal question coming up now.  One I have never seen mentioned in blogland (although it's probably out there somewhere, and I could Google it but "ain't nobody got time for that!").

Have you ever pee'd in a field? Hohoho; hahaha; OK, stop laughing now please!  Travelling across country from Cambridgshire to Dorset last weekend, and about an hour into the journey realised that with a full bladder, I would never make it to any services, nor a petrol station with a toilet.  Got to Go!  Study the large scale map very carefully, as GPS does not mark available fields....... :o).

OK.  Take the next left.  Oh dear, this is a dead-end full of lovely houses and cottages where obviously strangers don't go and even though each drive does not have a sign saying "no turning", I am sure that silently every home owner will not want you to turn the car in their particular space, but it's such a narrow lane that we have to.  Apologise to driver, and we are soon turned and back on the main road where, 500 yards further on is the turning we need. Criteria required?  Look out for field entrances with easy access; if possible no gate because that means there are no animals in the field; that you cannot see any houses or farm outbuildings, in case someone you can't see can see you; protection from the road by a hedge, and of course a tissue in your pocket.  Check? Check!

Also check on direction of the (very strong) wind that day for obvious reasons and Oh!  the relief.  Can do the next 3 hours comfortably now.  Driver also takes the chance and is also much relieved.

When I relay this story to Margaret, a very old friend, she cannot stop laughing (and she does have a very infectious laugh), and is gasping for breath.  Mrs Po-face (that's me) asks her "Well, have you never done that?"  to which her reply - unfathomable - is "Yes, but not at 68 years old!".  I think she feels that at 68, peeing in a field is just too undignified.......