Paperboy - Christopher Fowler

The author of the Bryant and May detective novels, amongst many others, describes his childhood and teen years in this lovely, evocative memoir.  With a father cowed by his own domineering mother, a mother who thought she might come to love the man she married, this lonely child withdrew into the world of books, encouraged by an elderly librarian who let him read adult books provided they were not removed from the library, and cinema, where he learned to love British films.   Like lots of men (I think it is a particularly male practice) he kept lists - notebooks full of lists in fact, and what lists they were, films seen, books read, books to read, ideas for books not yet written, etc.  He also has a photographic memory for things long gone - Spangles, Mivvi's, Saturday morning pictures and the smell of old cinemas, Frys Mint Creams;  he brings a smile to your face because of that, and a tear to your eye for his loneliness both at home and at school.  If you were brought up in the 1950s and 60s, you will remember lots of things here including outside toilets and Barry Bucknell's DIY craze, but even if you are younger, this glimpse into the world of a boy who desparately wanted to write but didn't know how to get going will entertain you hugely.

NB: [from The Guardian, Dec 2010] Last December, Christopher Fowler won the inaugral Green Carnation Award for this book.   Paul Magrs (Never the Bride and others), who is  a lecturer on the Manchester Metropolitan University's creative writing MA, helped set up the Green Carnation prize earlier this year after realising there was no literary award for gay men's books in the UK. He described the lack of such a prize as "scandalous", saying: "There ought to be something that celebrates and publicises the breadth and variety of their work. Writing by gay men can be funny, exciting, harrowing, uplifting and challenging – and it can range right across the genres. It can also be created by men from all classes and races."  The prize, which has no cash value, is named after the green carnation historically sometimes worn as an emblem of homosexuality – Oscar Wilde often carried one on his lapel.

Major Pettigrew's Last Stand - Helen Simonson

Wonderful  observation of the human condition in all its forms.  Major Pettigrew is a sixty-something, widowed man with a house, a son and friends at the golf club.  The house looks onto the farmland belonging to a local manor house, the son is a self centred city whizz-kid, and the friends at the golf club are just people who accompany him in a round of golf.  Into his lonely life comes Mrs Ali, shopkeeper of Pakistani descent, widowed, well read, and with family baggage.  It is not long before they discover that they love the same things, and read the same books.  The major has a soft spot for Mrs Ali!  But he is a rather pompous soul, knows what's right and what's wrong, and does not understand the younger generation at all.  Then his brother dies, and his world is turned upside down for a number of reasons.  The village ladies, a cotterie of women led by the vicar's wife, believe that they know what he needs, and leave no stone unturned in trying to persuade him what that is.  One of their number is married to a golf club friend of the Major's, and it is she who is the prime mover in theming this year's dinner and dance at the club - in costume, and with a special theme harking back to the last days of the Raj.  The Major takes Mrs Ali as his guest.......

There were characters I detested, characters I loved, and all the while I was cheering for the Major with his pomposity just waiting to be pricked, his sharp and scathing sense of humour, and for Mrs Ali too, with all her family problems that were not of her making.  Helen Simonson is British, lives in the USA, and is obviously a great observer.  There wasn't a character in this book I didn't recognise.   A great little read for your holiday, an afternoon in the garden, a winter read by the fire.   A lovely story which kept me away from the housework!

Laura Shaine Cunningham's Sleeping Arrangements

I am so glad I found this.  I don't read a lot of non-fiction, and very few biographies, and when I do they tend to be memoirs - just part of a life.  This is one such.  Lily lived with her mother, whilst waiting for the war to be over and her father to join them again.   But although she has a name, its likely that he was never there in the first place, perhaps her birth was the result of a very short affair or a one night stand.  Lily and her mother Rose set up home in a studio flat in a tower block in a Jewish area of the Bronx, New York.  They enjoy life and everything is perfect - until Rose has to go into hospital and never comes home.  Lily is eight years old.  Uncle Gabe, who has been looking after her whilst her mother is away, and his elder brother Len, make up the family unit by moving in with Lily, and have to learn to cook, to do the housework, the laundry ( in some cases with limited success!).  Later, having moved to a bigger apartment in the same block, their mother, and therefore Lily's grandmother, a Russian Jewess who shares Lily's bedroom and is prone to stealing clothes, hairgrips, cheap jewellery and anything else she can grab from Lily, completes the family - or in Etka from Minsk's own words "mein family".
Tuna fishcakes or popcorn for breakfast  - "well, its corn, isn't it?  Cornflakes, cornbread, why not popcorn?"; clothes all sent out weekly to the laundry, and therefore always "fully creased" on return;  Uncle Len cooking in a pith helmet.  This little family is truly eccentric.  And how lucky she was that the uncles were family, or she might have been taken into care and fostered, instead of being loved by this odd couple.  It was a pleasure to read.   I loved it. 

Shermouse Holmes takes to the road

Shermouse Holmes has taken the road to find the body of Trevor Smallsqueak,  following his murder by Fred Maclean, who is still out on bail.  The body disappeared from a porch in the Big 'uns house two weeks ago, and no trace has been found.  Despite Holmes' claim that he would solve this mystery, it seems certain to everyone but himself that he will not.

He has left his deerstalker at home, and hitched his caravan to his Mini, and is now, quote, "covering every inch of the gardens in the surrounding area".  He thinks it likely that this journey will take some time, but says he should be able to report back within about four weeks. If he finds that body, this reporter will eat his hat.

Tongin Cheeeeeek reporting for the Daily Fieldwhiskers. 

Copyright SusanMaclean

Body missing: Greatest Mouse Detective on the case!

The recent murder of a member of our community by Fred Maclean, currently out on bail, is followed by a mystery.  Who stole the body of Trevor Smallsqueak?  The local police have hired Shermouse Holmes to investigate.

"At present, I have very little to go on" said Mr   Holmes.  "The body was left on a sheet of paper, and the big 'uns were overheard saying that the body had just disappeared before they could give it a decent burial.  This is simply not good enough, bless my whiskers, no!  I have inspected the paper, on which there was no sign of foul play, just a few mousie hairs.  If a huge gust of wind blew the body off the paper, surely the body would be visible to us?  Having looked everywhere in the vicinity, it seems to me that an opportunist was passing and took the body.  After all, Maclean was inside the house warming his godforsaken body by the heating machine, and his sister was also inside.  I am going to speak to the Smallbird Community who live nearby, to see if they can throw any light on this.  They may have seen something.  There are whispers of a Raptor in the area - Mr B Uzzard is a known mouse snatcher, and he may have spotted the body from on high, and swooped".  Mr Holmes has assured the mouse community that he will solve this case later, rather than sooner.                   Tongin Cheeeeeek reporting for the Daily Fieldwhiskers.  Copyright SusanMaclean

Mouse Murderer arrested today!

 Mouse police reported today that a feline, Fred Maclean,  had been seen yesterday playing with a live field mouse, which two humans managed to remove from his grasp, whilst his sister Mabel looked on.  However, a mouse witness said "even though the big 'uns managed to get it out of the house and hidden in the undergrowth, by the state of him he would have been unlikely to last the night, poor barstard".  Mouse police were moved to apprehend Maclean today when he was found actually clutching the dead body of his latest victim,Trevor Smallsqueak.  Sargeant Michael Moose made this statement:  "Maclean is not the only mouse murderer in the vicinity.  At this time of the year when the grass is long, and we cavort and gamble through the summer, felines are known to adopt the watch and wait policy for hours on end, and we just don't see them, they are so still.  So be on your guard, ladies and gentlemen - and keep those children safe!".
The victim's Aunt Minnie (pictured above) said "Our Trevor didn't deserve this.  He deserved to last until next year, and father some kids as well.  Those Felines are just murderers, out and out murderers".
From the Daily Fieldwhiskers; reporter Tongin Cheeeeeek.

copyright SusanMaclean

The Royal Opera House chairs, and the new upholstery!

Way back in time I said that I had acquired some pure wool herringbone fabric for £12.50 and was going to have the chairs recovered?

 Before - with damask tablecloth dyed grey and seat pads squashed from 10 years use.....



After, with 100% pure wool all reupholstered........ 

Here's the pattern..... this is the true colour, the other pic makes it look dark for some reason.

And here is one of the chairs in situ in front of the painted cabinet.

And guess what?  There is still some fabric left so what a bargain that was!  The chairs are oversized, because they were stage props originally, (hence the dyed tablecloths of the original covering) but they are so comfortable, we have never sat on better, which is why we have had them recovered.  They will never make antiques, they are only painted rubber wood, but we love 'em!