No physical contact

Watching a documentary recently about London's night buses.  One of the passengers was a very elderly gent who had recently lost his wife of 60+ years, and we found that he was on the night bus because he had been out dancing.  Recently widowed?  Out dancing?  Shocked?

You shouldn't be, and maybe this will tell you why.  An widowed elderly family member of mine, on holiday a few years ago with me and group of friends of varying ages, was dancing by herself to some music she liked whilst the rest of us were drinking and chatting.  No-one really noticed until one of our party said "Care for a dance, M'am?".  Yes, she definitely would care for a dance, because as she explained, if you are without a partner then there is very little physical contact anymore.  It's a lonely feeling not being held.  So she got a little smooch, c/o of a friend.

Whilst I was watching the documentary, on the sofa next to the other half, this memory came back to me, and I suddenly thought how much I would miss the closeness of another body if he was no longer there (of course I would miss the person, I love him dearly, but imagine trying to cosy up to a stranger just for a hug?).  And then, at my yoga class yesterday, we did back massage on another person, who then did the same for us.  Again, it was the closeness of others.  We don't all have families and really close friends who we can be physical with.  Some of us are really reserved and that's fine if you don't like the touch of another.  But I do, and so many are denied it, like the widower on the London night bus.  As it happens, a youngster got on the bus and sat next to the old boy.  They were both Irish, so that commonality helped.  But the arm went along the back of the seat and round the shoulders, and the young man, sober, had a bit of a craick with the widower, and made him laugh before he left the bus.

So a hug every now and again won't go amiss if someone looks as though they need one - or even a linked arm whilst chatting or walking - just for the warmth of human contact.

Table decs at next to no money? Of course you can!!

You should start saving clear glass containers..... in this pic are two different perfume bottles with spray and metal collars removed, also the bottle from one of those room perfume kits with the little sticks......

This one was a beautiful frosted glass which held a scented candle... can't use it for drinking out of, so........

Two different bottles which were once sold as drinking water.....

Here's an assortment ready for use.

And here, something called a "custard cup"  picked up for next to nothing on a second hand stall

.... and finally, one of a set of three which were found in a craft store at rock bottom prices.

The flowers were one bunch of gypsophilla from the florist at £25 which filled every container and some left over!    A good choice as white goes with anything and the gyp has lots of little branches up the stems, so they can be cut to size as you go.  So most of the containers cost nothing, and a few of them cost just a little.  Tissue paper is cheap but looks good if you want to wrap it round some of your containers.  Mine were arranged in a straight line down the centre of each table at differing heights on white tablecloths (which were actually bedsheets and after laundering went straight back into the airing cupboard!).  Just change your ribbon and tissue paper colour to suit.  You don't have to be arty farty, just a little patience will do.

Oh, and a tip.  Spray the flowers with a little shot of your favourite perfume - as not everyone will thank you for the strange and rather cat-like smell of the gyp.  But there you go - four big party tables for around £30, and a bit of patience collecting your containers.

Of course, if you have lots of flowers for cutting available in your garden or next door's, or lots of ivy, or some kind of evergreen, then you save the £25.   Wild flowers, whilst lovely, will not last long when cut, so be choosy.  A rose in every container would be just lovely.

Tallgrass - Sandra Dallas

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  Sandra Dallas, another American writer who has such a gift.  Every book is different, the "voice" is different, the tale is different, the era is different.  This one, comparatively modern, is set during WW2 in Colorado.  In case you didn't know, after the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbour, all Japanese-Americans living on or near the West Coast of America were removed from their homes and interned in camps away from coastal areas for the duration of the war.    Although this is a fiction, it is based on a camp in Colorado and if you go to http://sandradallas.com/books-2/ Dallas's web site, you can find out more about it.

  
  

  In the meantime, let me tell you a little of this gritty book, which for me was hard to read because of the subject matter, revealing much of human nature in general, and brings to the surface the hatred that some of us have for "different" folk.  And of course, in bringing up those feelings it made me hate those who hated the different others........

  
  

  Rennie has just turned 13 when the land is cleared and set up for the internment camp next door to her family's sugar beet farm.  The first few busloads of Japanese-Americans have hardly hit the ground when the signs start to go up in town - "NO JAPS".  Rennie has a brother and a sister;  Bud, who has joined up to fight in Europe, and Marthalice, who lives miles away in Denver. When most of the younger or single men in town have joined up or been called up, Rennie's Dad decides to employ some young men from the camp to help with the sugar beet.  At the same time, a child is raped and killed, and for those who should know better, the conclusion is that "the Japs must have done it".  This is a thriller and a historical novel.  Can't fault the research, and the voice of Rennie is just perfect.  You are a young teen, you get bullied at school, your sister is grown up now and living away, your Mother not in the best of health, and the whole town is taking sides.
  
  

  It's a book that made me very emotional, even though I knew nothing of these camps, living in a different country, and being born after WW2.  It is the old old story of fearing that which you don't know, and the problems that fear can bring.  I'd recommend this to anyone, but I particularly want to recommend it to the Young Adult readership, because it's a brilliant story of growing up and understanding adults, but also it is clear that the author does not take sides but points out a way forward without hatred.  The character of Rennie's father is based on her own father.  What a great dad he must have been.

A Swift Pure Cry - Siobhan Dowd

Sadly the author died too young to reach her full potential - but she never wrote a bad book.  This one, aimed at Young Adults, tells Michelle's (Shell) story, following the death of her mother, leaving her to look after two younger siblings whilst her father drinks away any money he has.  Is he a thief?  Is he a n'er-do-well?  Is it grief of his loss that made him the man he has become?  It doesn't matter because Shell just has to get on with things, feed the family if there is money to do so, and go hungry if there is not.  Here in Catholic Ireland, the priest knows all and does nothing, for God will provide.

I don't know that I could have done any better than Shell under the circumstances.  The kids are always dirty - never enough money for soap power, and the washing machine, broken since her mother's death is not going to be repaired or replaced when the money can be used for Dad to drink.  The new Curate, Father Rose, is a breath of fresh air in the village - for some folk rather too fresh, for he is not the kind of priest they are used to.

This was hard to read, in the way that medicine is hard to swallow.  I really felt for Shell, reaching out for help without actually asking for it, reaching out for love and comfort without really understanding it.  This is a tale told hundreds of times before, but this one really made me feel that I understood the position that Shell was in.  A terrible dilemma, and no help available.  Harsh but with redemption on the horizon - this is a great read for 12 upwards, as an adult I found it easy to read and can totally agree with the reviewer from the Irish Independent, who said "...should be read by anyone who is or ever was a teenager."

http://www.siobhandowdtrust.com/ Click here if you want to find out more about the Siobhan Dowd Trust, set up by Siobhan before she died, and what they do for disadvantaged young readers.

Standing in the Rainbow - Fannie Flagg

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You know that sometimes you just want a book that acts like a warm blanket and a cuppa.  This book is it.  Small town America - Elmwood Springs, Missouri.  If you like American fiction, and I do, this may have not made itself known to you so I think I had better do that!

Stretching from just after WW2, the book starts in 1946, with Neighbour Dorothy broadcasting daily from her living room, across the state of Missouri.  Community radio was quite the thing in those days, the radio shows aimed at women, the sponsors soap powder manufacturers or cooking ingredient suppliers.  The adventures of this mother of two (a teen and a wayward 10 year old) start the book.  Other characters arrive.  Some stay, some go; some have a large part to play along the way in this wonderful tale which ends just prior to the end of the 20th century.  All the chapters are quite short, some only a couple of pages, which make it easy to dip in and out of - although I just kept reading in great chunks for all of the 495 pages.  If you like to read before you sleep, this would be a lovely bedside companion.  For me it was just the loveliest read, with heart, soul and people you recognise.

My own reading doesn't stick with a genre...... sometimes detectives, sometimes family tragedies, sometimes just an adventure.  Almost always fiction, I like a bit of fact thrown in.  Sometimes I want to be excited, but I don't much care for thrillers as I always forget the story within a few weeks.  What I like is a tale that "sticks".  One I will remember next year, the year after, and one I will tell you about and recommend.  This is one of those.  Read and enjoy.

 

Bed and Breakfast Tales - 4

Anyone know what a Raspberry Pie is?  I thought I did.  It's something you eat, right?   Well, if (like me) you are not up on things in the I.T. world it is a pie made from fruit and that's the end of it!

Sometime last year we had a Mum and Son stay for just one night.  The son was around 8 years old, and I found myself talking to a genius when he rose early, and engaged me in conversation.  The talk was of how he was going to build stuff using Raspberry Pies.  Imagine how it felt at my age to ask an eight year old what a Raspberry Pie was!  I know little about computing, being a front end user only, but I did think to myself during this conversation that this little chap may well be the next Stephen Hawkins, or Bill Gates, or someone equally famous in his field.  Such a pity that apart from the words "Raspberry Pie", I understood little of the conversation.

I've saved his name, so that when I am seriously old, and he appears on TV being interviewed about how he changed the world, I can muse on the fact that once, just once, I cooked breakfast for a genius!!

The Gracekeepers - Kirsty Logan

In the watery world of the future, Callenish gets rid of the bodies.

She is a "Gracekeeper", a sort of undertaker at sea.  She receives the bodies, she cleans them, binds them in net, and gives them a sea burial, out there somewhere near the equator in an area that should you come across it will be marked by wooden pontoons, on which birds in cages wait to die.  The birds are the Graces, and whilst they live the mourners can mourn.  When a travelling circus arrives to bury one of their own, Callenish meets North, a girl who dances with a bear.  Their stories are separate but intertwined for much of the book, together with circus members, the military, those that who live on solid ground - the "landlockers", and those who live on the ocean - the "damplings".  For the story is set at least seven generations after what must have been severe global warming as there are only islands, patches of land here and there, and the landklockers don't want damplings taking up any space on their land.

It's one of those books that I couldn't wait to finish, but kept stopping my reading so that it didn't end too soon.  So why only 4 stars? Well.... I loved the characterisation, I loved the whole idea; but somehow, within this huge, watery tale, there was something missing, and when I got to the end I felt that I'd been done out of something.

It's wonderfully written, easy to keep reading.  Each character of any importance gets their own chapter headings, but don't worry, for those of you who don't like things written in the first person (I went, I was etc), this book is not.  The characters are wonderfully drawn, they came alive on the page very quickly, their emotions there for you to feel.  The world described needs (like a night at the theatre) suspension of reality - for the reality here is a fantasy, a fairytale, with larger than life characters in the circus, and others whose characters go with the job.  For example, Callanish the Gracekeeper - quiet, tidy, but wanting not to be out there looking after the watery graveyard; and Flitch the Messenger, taking and delivering messages between the islands and the boats is a shaven headed wide boy.   The cover is wonderful with a look of velvet about it and all in all at just under 300 pages, it just begs to be read. It isn't magic realism, it is fantasy, and I should have loved it, but this time I only liked it.  Full marks for the cover though!