Bad Traffic Directions! and I mean BAD!

Today, I went to a funeral in a town that I was familiar with in my childhood.  The funeral was for a 92 year old cousin who was a great part of that childhood, and we have been in touch ever since.  Just so you know, it was a great day, and I got to see distant family members I had not seen since my early teens, and for the deceased, everyone had fun, laughed and talked and drank coffee - just the kind of gathering she'd have enjoyed.  So that was the good part.

The bad?  After a church service, we were all off the the crematorium for the final commital.  Not being familiar with this part of town, and the GPS not accepting Xtown Crematorium I asked the vicar in which direction the crematorium was.  His reply?

"It's not far, just drive towards Xtown and when you want to go right, go left"

Think about it.

What kind of instruction is that at all??!!  in the event it was several miles, involved driving through a town centre, driving along about 2 miles along a dual carriageway (still no sign for Crematorium), and finally asking for directions at a Harvester Restaurant ("have you ever been to a Harvester before?").  In the event, we had to reverse our journey by about a mile, and only then was the first sign for the Crematorium visible.

Now that vicar must get asked this question many times.  Also the church is on a narrow road with no car park, so people park on the road, and then set off, but with other traffic cannot possible follow each other or  the hearse with any guarantee of sticking together.  Know what I'd do?  I'd have little printed and laminated cards with directions on in my surplice, and hand them out every time that question was asked.  Doesn't really take much thought does it?  Well ... perhaps his mind  was on higher things!